I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
