I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
