my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize