dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
