Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
