Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
