I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
