This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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