She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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