I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
