I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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