So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
