is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
