Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
