I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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