is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
