Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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