We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
