Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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