can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
