did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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