I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
