why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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