no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
