i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize