WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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