nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
