We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
