Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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