happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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