I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
