I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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