she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
