Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
