Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
