Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
