I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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