i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
