You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
