So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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