Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
