This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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