if only i could text you this smell
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
