All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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