these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
