have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
