how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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