She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
