When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
