i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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