just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
