I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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